'Asking them to bury their feelings': Cowboys' Emmitt Smith on navigating locker room loss

The Cowboys are reassembling as a team this week for the first time after the sad passing of second-year defensive end Marshawn Kneeland. The bye week- usually a chance for players to get away from both the facility and the daily grind of football- instead saw them dealing with a sudden wave of complex emotions regarding the loss of their teammate.

And now begins the next chapter. Kneeland will be a main topic of interviews and press conferences and soundbites as the regular business of a prep week gets underway. Then will come another refocus on the tragedy when the Cowboys take the field in Las Vegas on Monday for their first game without Kneeland. Then again the following weekend when they play at home for the first time. And on and on and on, a steady stream of constant reminders of a profound loss that goes well beyond the game.

Hall of Fame running back and Cowboys icon Emmitt Smith sat down with Cowboys Wire this week and shared some insight as to how today's players will try to navigate these difficult times.

"Let me paint a picture for you. You're going into a locker room that you're very familiar with, and you have a guy that you saw for weeks, months," Smith explained, "and that locker is empty. He's no longer there. Not because he got traded, not because he got cut. He's no longer there because he's no longer living. That's a hard thing to deal with.

"We talk about mental toughness. We talk about mental and emotional stress and strain. This is what you're asking these athletes to go through. You're asking them to bury their feelings- bury their feelings so they can get prepared to go back to battle. And it's going to be a challenging time."

Smith was taking a break from his work with Ready to Rescue, an initiative that takes him to college campuses across the country to speak with young people about opioid awareness and the dangers of accidental overdose. Smith is an ambassador for NARCAN, a life-saving nasal spray that can be easily administered by anyone during an emergency situation.

Last week's news out of Dallas hit Smith differently than many; the all-time rushing king has personally experienced sudden loss within the context of a football season.

Legendary Cowboys offensive tackle Mark Tuinei died in 1999 of an accidental drug overdose, just a year after retiring from a 15-year career with the club. Smith and many of the Super Bowl dynasty holdovers who were still playing had to carry on through that 8-8 season, waiting for answers about their former teammate that never came.

Smith was also in Arizona in 2004, when the Cardinals franchise had to reckon with the offseason loss of former player Pat Tillman, who was killed in combat while serving overseas in the U.S. Army. Smith was never a teammate of Tillman's, but the safety's death weighed heavily on that locker room for Smith's final pro season.

Kneeland's passing will similarly touch every player in the Cowboys organization, most immediately for the remainder of this season.

"That's part of what we deal with," Smith said, "and I think our team and many other teams that deal with things like this, they go onto the football field with a purpose. And the purpose may be to play for him. You're already going to play for each other regardless. But now you're playing for a different reason. You want to honor that."

While the Cowboys will wear special helmet decals that memorialize Kneeland, the remembrances will go much deeper for every player who knew him.

Smith cautions, though, that the job of playing professional football will require a certain amount of compartmentalization.

"When you cross that line to go play the game, that's where your focus should be. That's where your heart should be. That's where your spirit should be for 100% [of the time] that you're on that field."

In fact, Smith says, getting back on the field in the heat of a game situation may well be the best place for the Cowboys' players to be. It's the constant interview questions and empty locker stalls that often take a heavier toll.

"When you cross that line, you can allow your mind to relax a little bit," Smith says. "And then when you get back out there, you got to activate it again. That's a special kind of training. That's what a lot of these kids and guys have gone through for years and years and years to prepare for these moments. But nothing ever prepares you for a sudden death like that. Those are hard."

Smith, 56, says it's some small relief to him that the Cowboys were not scheduled to play a game last weekend and won't take the field in Week 11 until Monday night, after an additional Sunday slate has been completed.

"We've been trained to enjoy something for 24 hours, or to get over something within 24 hours," Smith observed, "because you've got to get prepared for the next thing. And life does not always happen that way. So you have to have the time to grieve."

The grieving will not be over by the time Monday's game kicks off. But Smith is hopeful that the break will have given Kneeland's teammates and coaches an opportunity to sit with their feelings, come back together as a brotherhood, and then choose to move forward in honoring his memory.

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This article originally appeared on Cowboys Wire: Cowboys icon Emmitt Smith reflects on navigating loss of a teammate