Buckingham Palace broke its own golden rule over Princess Diana claims

Britain's royal family has taken the unusual step of publicly challenging claims made by Princess Diana's brother, Earl Spencer, in his upcoming memoir, Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, excerpts of which were published by Britain's Daily Mail,

Departing from the monarchy's traditional "never complain, never explain" approach, Buckingham Palace responded Wednesday to Spencer’s recollection of phone calls between himself and King Charles in the wake of Diana's death in 1997

According to Spencer, Charles “sounded giddily elated — like a lottery winner” in a call immediately following her passing.

“He let me know he had informed William and Harry of their mother’s death, first thing that morning, in their bedrooms at Balmoral. It all sounded strangely matter-of-fact, given the enormity of the disaster,” Spencer writes in the book. “Looking back now, I suspect the prince’s first reaction must have been to think more of how this event might free him to marry the woman he loved, rather than appreciating the loss of one he did not.”

Spencer also recalled another conversation he had with Charles about Diana’s funeral arrangements. Spencer had objected to the idea of William and Harry, then 15 and 12, walking behind their mother's coffin at her funeral.

"He unleashed down the phone what I have always taken to be his pent-up contempt for Diana, and his horror that the world was so bowled over by her death,” Spencer recalls in the book. “'Rest assured,' he hissed, 'we'll forget her soon enough.'" 

While the palace didn't directly address whether the comment was made, the statement questioned the reliability of Spencer's recollection, saying, "While we do not comment on books as a matter of principle, His Majesty is mindful that the pain of fraternal grief can cloud reason, affect judgment and color memory in ways others do not recognize, even many years after such a loss."

The statement echoes the palace's reaction to claims made by Harry and Meghan Markle during their 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey that an unnamed royal had made a remark about their son's skin color before he was born and that the monarchy failed to help a suicidal Meghan. A response issued on behalf of Queen Elizabeth II at that time said that "recollections may vary."

Royal correspondents described Wednesday's statement as highly unusual. Sky News's Laura Bundock called it "a really remarkable intervention" and a "very robust response" that is "beyond punchy." Bundock added that the royal family "simply cannot stay silent."

The BBC's former royal correspondent Jennie Bond described the statement as "'recollections may vary' with bells on. [It] suggests they are going to hit back on this," she said, adding, "It's a right mess."

What is the 'never complain, never explain' motto?

Rather than a formal palace rule, the "never complain, never explain" phrase is an unofficial code of conduct, often credited to the Victorian-era British prime minister Benjamin Disraeli. The saying was later linked to Elizabeth II's mother and subsequently became a mantra that Elizabeth herself followed. Britain's former monarch almost never responded to criticism, political disputes or reports about her family during her 70-year reign. 

Charles has also stuck to the same approach and has not responded to Harry's 2023 memoir Spare, despite numerous allegations about Charles, Queen Camilla and William. Similarly, the palace declined to comment on Tom Bower's book Rebel Prince and Omid Scobie's 2023 book Endgame.

Harry commented on the phrase during a 2023 interview with CBS's 60 Minutes, claiming the reality was more complicated. 

"The family motto is 'never complain, never explain,' but it's just a motto," he said. "[Buckingham Palace] will feed or have a conversation with a correspondent, and that correspondent will literally be spoon-fed information and write the story, and at the bottom of it, they will say they have reached out to Buckingham Palace for comment. But the whole story is Buckingham Palace commenting."

Katie Nicholl, a Vanity Fair correspondent and author of Uncensored Royals, explained why the royal family upheld the motto on most occasions. "Dignified silence is a tried and tested format," she told Time magazine in 2023. "...The palace is reluctant to engage at any level because once they do, it just fuels the narrative." She added, "The Queen only responded when she absolutely had to and it was often short and succinct."

When else has the royal family publicly defended itself?

Aside from the Oprah interview and Spencer's new memoir, the royal family has publicly responded on several other notable occasions.

Diana's death, 1997

After facing heavy criticism for not returning to London from the family's Balmoral Castle residence in Scotland immediately after Diana's death, the Queen eventually addressed the U.K. in an extraordinary live speech five days later. She referred to herself "as your Queen" and "a grandmother," paid tribute to Diana and said she had remained at Balmoral to help "William and Harry come to terms with the devastating loss that they and the rest of us have suffered."

Andrew's Newsnight interview, 2019

Andrew attempted to explain his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and rebut Virginia Giuffre's allegations. The BBC interview was met with intense criticism, and Andrew soon withdrew from royal duties.

In 2025, Buckingham Palace announced that Andrew had been stripped of his prince title and would be moving out of his Royal Lodge home in Windsor, England.

A statement from the palace read, "These censures are deemed necessary, notwithstanding the fact that [Andrew] continues to deny the allegations against him. Their Majesties wish to make clear that their thoughts and utmost sympathies have been, and will remain with, the victims and survivors of any and all forms of abuse."

Bullying accusations against Meghan, 2021

After The Times of London reported that some former staff members had accused Meghan of bullying, the palace said it was "clearly very concerned" and said its HR team would look into how the complaints were handled. Meghan's representatives denied the allegations. 

The Princes and the Press documentary, 2021

The three main royal households — Buckingham Palace (which represents the British monarch), Clarence House (Charles's home and communications team) and Kensington Palace (William and Kate's London office and household base) — joined forces to issue a rare rebuttal to a BBC documentary about William and Harry's relationship with the media, calling claims "overblown and unfounded."

Lady Susan Hussey, 2022

The royal aide sparked uproar after repeatedly asking Ngozi Fulani, the founder and chief executive of a U.K. domestic abuse charity, where she "really" came from at a palace reception. Buckingham Palace called the comments "unacceptable and deeply regrettable." Hussey subsequently stepped aside from her honorary role the same day.

Harry's BBC interview, 2025

Buckingham Palace responded to allegations made by Harry after he lost an appeal over his U.K. security arrangements. Harry said the process had been used to control him and that the royal household had influenced the decision. The palace responded, "All of these issues have been examined repeatedly and meticulously by the courts, with the same conclusion reached on each occasion."